Stuff On My Dog, Dog on my Stuff, & more!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DID YOU SET MY FACEBOOK PROFILE TO ‘IN A RELATIONSHIP’ WITH XVIDEOS.COM AND CHANGE MY NAME TO ‘CHAFE RUBBINS’?

I DON’T KNOW, DID YOU REPLACE EVERYTHING ON MY IPOD WITH 500 COPIES OF THAT ADELE RECORD?

I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM, SO MAYBE. 

YOU HAVE A WANKING PROBLEM TOO. I ADMIT TO NOTHING.

HOW DID YOU GET MY PASSWORD?

YOU LEFT YOUR LAPTOP OPEN WHEN YOU WENT TO GET BEER ON TUESDAY. HOW DID YOU GET THAT MANY COPIES OF ONE CD ONTO MY IPOD?

I CHANGED THE ARTIST’S NAME TO ADELE WITH A SPACE AFTER IT OR THE GENRE TO ‘WEEPCORE’ OR WHATEVER. IT THINKS IT’S A DIFFERENT ALBUM.

YOU DID THAT 500 TIMES?

I COULDN’T SLEEP.

THAT’S ACTUALLY KIND OF IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU. I DO MY BEST WORK DRUNK AT 3AM.