Today’s theme is dance parties!

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Posted on May 6, 2012 via it's not about the books anymore with 5,808 notes

Jessica Fletcher is many things. But mainly she’s an angel of death, leaving a wake of bodies behind her everywhere she goes. Hallmark Channel had a Murder, She Wrote marathon on a few weeks ago and we here at Casa Wheelnik are suckers for a marathon. Since then we’ve been watching Murder, She Wrote every weekend for the past few weeks (long live Netflix!). I watched this show as a kid with my parents and have some memories of it, though mostly memories of wondering why so many people killed each other over petty differences or greed. Even my barbies didn’t kill each other over money or infidelity. They handled things the proper way (divorces and more infidelity. My barbies were real mature). I’ve only gone through about 2 seasons of re-watching it again as an adult but I’ve found some amazing themes or elements that run throughout the episodes. Here are some of my favorites.

1) She is observant, witty, and has epiphanies based on random triggers, so is the precursor to the entire genre of hyper-aware crime/mysery solvers like Monk, Psych, The Mentalist, House and of course, Veronica Mars. Yes they all have to bow down to the one and only JBFletcher.

2) The guest stars! The show is a who’s who of the 80s and 90s. Jessica Walter (the mom from Arrested Development and Archer), Jerry Orbach, Bruce freakin Jenner and Dick Butkus (best name ever), Edward Albert, Mary Wickes (you know you know her from Sister Act), Jeff Conaway (but really…what wasn’t he in in the 80s) and even George Clooney. If you were an actor during the decade+ this show was on and you weren’t on MSW, you were probably worthless.

3) She’s got friends or relatives in every profession, state, and country. If there’s a gap somewhere, she’ll make friends with any old random stranger. And since she occasionally portrays her own relative as well as herself, I’m kinda surprised they never had a blackface JFletch long-lost cousin. ::thank you for never doing this::

4) People are insanely unemotional in the land of JFletch. No one really ever cries or shows any kind of dismay at the sight of a dead body. Maybe a few tears right when it happens but no one is ever upset for more than roughly 10 seconds when their husband/sister/daughter is killed suddenly and sometimes gruesomely. Which leads me to my next point…

5) Murder and death are so sanitized. No blood, bruises, bloating, terrible smells, or evidence of bodily function of any kind. Dead people do just look like they’re sleeping! You say she was brutally stabbed in bed in the middle of the night? Good thing she didn’t bleed on the white sheets! That would be awkward and distasteful.

6) People who are suspects often talk about the deceased in very honest ways and use the phrase “yea sure sometimes i could’ve/wanted to/dreamed of killing him” surprisingly often for people who claim they aren’t murderers (and they usually aren’t! why would you say that!?)

7) Murders are often solved based on whether the killer was left or right handed. He was struck from the back on his left side meaning the killer was left-handed! The most obvious suspect (who probably told the cops and JFletch that he occasionally wanted to kill the victim himself) always uses the opposite hand of the killer. Phew! Good detective work y’all.

8) Perhaps a corollary of #4, but murder never seems to dampen anyone’s appetite. People will eat huge meals right after stumbling upon a should-be-rotting corpse, or enjoy a regular breakfast 2 days after their spouse was brutally murdered. Me? I have a stressful day at work and I can’t eat. Break up w/a bf and I don’t eat for days. Crime victims’ families have hard stomachs in the MSW world.

9) Finally (yea, I should’ve made it a nice even top 10 list, but I only have 9 things so deal with it), she’s a baller and averages at least 1 new suitor per episode. She’s had an inordinate number of men go from disrespecting her for being a woman who is successful, smart, or just present in an all-male setting to proposing, inviting themselves to visit her in the CC (Cabot Cove..duh), or asking her to become business partners. I assume she’ s had many an awkward day when multiple men showed up at her door looking for some JB action only to be turned away (you know JFletch would never cheat on St. Frank*, even though he’s dead). She can be at a party full of professional football players and have a line of men want to dance with her, she’ll go to the caribbean and pick up old rich dudes at every turn, or go to colleges as a guest lecturer and have men in their mid-20s fawn after her. That’s pretty rad for a retired lady whose outfits run about as risque as Shari Lewis. Oooh girl, getting a little cray cray!